Sinister Minister and American Tommy arrive at the Agganis Arena and their driver parks them outside of the arena, in the heart of Boston University campus. Sinister Minister knows where they are heading and is dreading it, because American Tommy will be in the midst of 1,000's of college aged women. They both step out of the car and American Tommy looks at the arena.
American Tommy: "Look at this dump. Sharpe couldn't even lock down a good arena for us to showcase our talents in!"
Sinister Minister looks at American Tommy with a raised eyebrow.
Sinister Minister: "What talent do you have other than running your mouth?"
American Tommy, looking thinner, less retarded and a bit older for some reason shakes his head at Sinister Minister.
American Tommy: "Don't even start with me, muggle. The gift of gab when used correctly is the greatest tool any man can have. It's certainly something you don't possess and it's something Anthony Caffery and Markerface drown people out with every time they speak! I, on the other hand, am a fucking wordsmith!"
American Tommy looks at the driver who is still standing there, but now with his hand out.
American Tommy: "You ain't getting shit until you tell me where we are!"
Driver: "You are at Agganis Arena. It's located on the campus of Boston University. Look around, Sir."
Immediately when the driver says campus Sinister Minister shakes his head. American Tommy flips around as fast as he can and his mouth drops. Women are everywhere and American Tommy's eyes widen. In his mind every one of these women wants to sleep with him, because after all he is Harry Potter. American Tommy digs in his pocket and pulls out some chocolate coins and puts them in the driver's out reached hand.
American Tommy: "Don't say I never gave you anything. Those are straight from Hogsmeade!"
The driver's face turns to a look of disgust and turns to Sinister Minister who is smiling. The driver reaches out his hand to Sinister Minister who shakes his head no.
Sinister Minister: "Get out of here before I break your hand. I told you NOT to tell him we were on a college campus. You fucked up, buddy."
The driver scoffs and Sinister Minister steps forward. The guy steps back and into his car. As Sinister Minister watches the driver leave he can see American Tommy in the distance walking around women and taking while they laugh. Sinister Minister shakes his head and walks his way leaving his bags where they were dropped off.
American Tommy is standing next to two different women as Sinister Minister approaches.
American Tommy: "Yo, you women want to play with a real wand?"
One of the girls grabs the other and ushers her away in a hurried motion. American Tommy looks startled and turns around while pulling out his wand.
American Tommy: "You stupid muggle, I was talking about my wizard wand! I'm Harry fucking Potter! You've probably read my biographies and masturbated at the thought of lying with a wizard. Here's your fucking chance!"
American Tommy spins around in a circle with his arms outstretched.
American Tommy: "Here are all your chances. Shower me in your love. I'll shower you in my sex juices!"
Sinister Minister hits American Tommy on the head with his open hand and grabs him.
Sinister Minister: "It's time to go. Quit trying to get yourself arrested. I have a match I need to prepare for."
American Tommy: "Yah, you know what I need to prepare for?"
American Tommy reaches into his pockets and has two handfuls of condoms. He throws them in the air and its raining condoms on Sinister Minister and American Tommy.
American Tommy: "I need to prepare for that pussy, pussy, pussy. Even that slanted pussy that I heard those Chinese people have! Is that even possible? Never mind, I don't care! Hey you! Want to get with a wizard?!"
The girls Tommy was yelling at walk fast away as Sinister Minister grabs Tommy's collar again. They get over to the bags when Jennifer walks up to them looking for an interview. Sinister Minister doesn't look happy.
Sinister Minister: "For fuck sakes, you are always around. What do you want, Jennifer?"
Jennifer: "You know exactly what I want, Sinister."
American Tommy motions to his penis.
American Tommy: "Harry Potter's penis! Don't think I haven't seen how you've been looking at me, Jennifer. I'm not all that interested in a vagina that Bobby Franchise has been in, but I'll make an exception for you. We better get going if we want to do this, because I have a busy night of making Caffery and Markerface wish they never knew me. I gotta look good for YoYo as she is going to be dripping all over me later."
Jennifer is obviously disgusted as she is looking at American Tommy.
Jennifer: "You may have switched up your look and I must say it is an improvement, but you still have that ugly mouth of yours."
American Tommy: "This ugly mouth could take care of you in ways that you can't get while being the locker room bicycle!"
Jennifer shifts her focus from American Tommy to Sinister Minister.
Jennifer: "You face Anthony Caffery and Tokyo Zombie, both very experienced. You have a brief history with Caffery, but you've never faced Tokyo Zombie. Thoughts on this match?"
Sinister Minister: "I don't really have much to say on this match. Anthony Caffery and I may have a history, but that history is just being in the same federation many years ago. I do not like the man and I never will. He reached the top, he held that World Title, and then he immediately lost it back to its rightful owner. Caffery is not World Champion material and now he seems like quite the title jumper to me. He loses one and then sticks his nose into contention for another. It's like he's seeking something. Acceptance maybe? His quest for tag gold will come to a quicker end than his World Title reign, a reign that was not memorable in the slightest."
"Tokyo Zombie is an interesting man that I don't quite understand. He claims to be a warrior of light similar in fact to when I was a man of God, the make believe man of superior light. Tokyo is nothing more than a drone of the masses. Sportsmanship, justice, truth are all just a line of bullshit to get away with what he does. He's a fucking wrestler, but says he's a man of light? When you get down to it he is no different than me. The only person he is fooling is himself, because fact is he fights for darkness instead of light. Tonight, I'll show him just how much he enjoys the darkness."
"You need to leave now. I am done talking to you."
She goes to leave, but she hears a yell.
American Tommy: "I'm not done talking to you yet! Get back here, woman!"
Jennifer: "I've had enough of listening to you. You want to speak? Here's the microphone."
American Tommy's eyes widen up and he smiles. Jennifer walks away leaving just Sinister Minister and American Tommy in front of the camera. He hands the microphone to Sinister Minister.
American Tommy: "Ask me."
Sinister Minister shakes his head no.
American Tommy: "Ask me!"
Sinister Minister: "What do you think of Anthony Caffery?"
American Tommy: "You remember when Caffery was doing that promo on the mountain or whatever the fuck he was doing? I was wishing a by passer would have kicked him off that click. This man speaks and speaks and speaks and speaks and speaks. Then he speaks and speaks and speaks and speaks and speaks. Finally, he speaks and speaks and speaks and speaks some more. His entire tactic to win matches is to mush the brain of his opponents with all his words. I think he's also too busy worrying about the Manifest Destiny tournament than he is this match. I see it's OK for him to put his name out there, but when Amis does his World Tour it's a bad thing. The man is nothing more than a walking contradiction! He's also culturally insensitive which I made a point to mention on Twitter!"
American Tommy pulls out his phone and pulls up Twitter and holds it to the camera.
American Tommy pulls the phone away from the camera which reveals not only a smile on American Tommy's face, but also Sinister Minister's.
American Tommy: "As a wizard legend and someone children look up to I feel the need to speak out for the little people."
Sinister Minister: "What do you think of Tokyo Zombie?"
American Tommy: "I'm very fucking mad at Marker Face and it isn't just for the fact that it looks like he let a child draw all over him in marker. It looks like he had one to many to drink one night while fake fighting for the light and decided to get a few tattoos. It looks like he's a billboard for the Japanese alphabet! What I'm really mad about is the fact that he's got this fine little honey by his side named YoYo, and the fucker won't introduce me. I'm smooth like butter and breaking her down with my charm and HE still won't let her come see me! Check this out!"
American Tommy takes out his phone and shows the camera again.
American Tommy puts his phone down.
American Tommy: "I mean just look at that smoothness right there. There isn't a woman alive that wouldn't crumble with lust with my lines! That Tokyo Zombie is nothing but a cock block and The Order are going to take that roadblock to YoYo's vagina out tonight. Then it's a straight road to that sweet sweetness. Coming in like a train."
American Tommy motions like he's pulling a horn.
American Tommy: "Chooo Chooo!"
American Tommy is beaming with happiness as Sinister Minister is trying to not laugh. He grabs the microphone from American Tommy.
Sinister Minister: "This team The Order faces tonight is nothing more than a team of two random people thrown together. If this is the type of competition Brutal Force Wrestling has for AK and I we will be holding onto these titles for a very long time. No chemistry and filled with hate for each other! Well, more so Caffery towards Tokyo as he hates absolutely everybody. That anger will be easily exploited and will be our path of "lightness" to victory.
Sinister Minister does the sign of the cross.
Sinister Minister: "In the name of the Wrestling God!"
Sinister Minister drops the microphone to the ground and pats the Tag Team title that is hanging from his shoulder. He motions for American Tommy to pick up the bags, which he surprisingly does and they head towards the arena. Sinister Minister glances over to his right and sees two campus security officers waling their way. He hits American Tommy in the shoulder and quietly speaks to him.
Sinister Minister: "Run!"
American Tommy looks to his right and sees the security and books it to the arena. The officers take chase as the camera fades to black.
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Sat May 07, 2016 3:36 am