Rey's Review #1

Hi guys, since I am the resident RP CRITIC I’m going to pick my favorite roleplays of the week that I thought stood out from the rest because of their quality! I will try to honestly critique and be unbiased, so don’t be mad if I have a negative review! Take it as a point to reflect on! I wont rate my own rps highly haha. Also sorry for grammar mistakes and all that but I’m writing this with no planning and from stream of consciousness… and not editing it haha.

This week was an exciting week for me! I enjoyed a lot of the first week roleplays which made me want to do this in the first place, and I couldn’t wait for the second week rp’s.

This second week was the introduction for a lot of new wrestlers, like Kyle Brenan, Scarlett, and HD! Hannah Destiny wrote two roleplays, both that showed her character well. Shes a BITCH! Much like SCARLETT SILVER as well. OUR DIVAS ARE BITCHES! Jk… but yeh they were entertaining to read haha. I also very much liked the addition of Eight 69’s part on Scarlett Silver, I still cannot wait to see how that storyline develops =)

Scarlett’s rp I was hoping there would be a little bit more too because I enjoyed reading it until it ended so suddenly!
Kyle Brenan wrote an epilogue to his RAW storyline, It was an intense rp to read and I actually thought it was very good!
Anyways, on to the rp’s I thought were the best or at least my favorite of the week. To be honest I was expecting Jack Colter or Cartwrights rp to be one of my favorites, as I enjoyed them a lot the first week. Cartwright is quite the character and Jack Colter has an interesting character as well, it works because we are reading it but if you think about it if this was an actual show like a WWE show, the fans would not know what is going on inside a wrestler’s rp.  But it is interesting and hopefully we see some good rps from those two. However they didn’t bring it this week as much, and this review I had TWO favorites from others.

These roleplays very much stood out to me from the rest.

1. Amis Shelton Speaks, by Amis Fucking Shelton!

A second week in a row the lad Amis Shelton did not disappoint! After reading Zombie’s rp which clearly targeted Amis, I knew that Amis had to make a strong reply if he wanted a chance in the tournament.

Amis Shelton responded with a brilliant roleplay, that I could not help but smile at when reading. Amis is an asshole and he comes to the ring embracing the fans response, even though they are probably booing. He doesn’t care because fuck you hes Amis fucking Shelton.

He even develops the commentators, with Lance clearly being an Amis Shelton fan and Emily not so much. This makes for a more entertaining rp.

‘"Ladies and Gentlemen in the audience; quit rubbing your eyes, stop pinching yourself and for those at home, don't adjust your TV sets. It really is Amis Shelton standing in front of you, live and in living colour, ready and able to entertain you and become the highlight of this Brutal Force Wrestling production."

Amis smirks as the fans boo, he's really confident!’
Amis is egotistical and believes he is better than everyone else, and he takes on that character very well.

He is able to use the fact that he defeated Kyle Brennan to hype himself up more. Intelligently, Amis uses the BFW rankings to clearly show his character and make the rp more entertaining.

“Now I'd be second on this list if Akgrath had actually won his match, therefore by Amis Shelton rules and common logic, he has been disqualified from the rankings and he forfeits his spot at the top of the rankings to yours truly.. Amis.. Shelton!”

Amis then addresses Tokyo Zombie, crushing his dreams with the reality, that Amis Shelton is just better at what he does and theres nothing Zombie can really do. The only thing I would have liked to see was another concluding sentence before dropping the mic. However, this was definitely an awesome rp.

2. No More Questions – Eight 69

When first seeing this rp, I was like here we go again, another 10k word rp from this emo ass! However I scrolled through it and was like nah this ones only like 2k words, so I read it…irllol

Eight 69 uses his details and dialogues effectively. He introduces the scene showing that Mikael stands out from the rest, it is something minor like changing the furniture around, but it makes him different than the rest, and reminds the fans of that.

There is a lot of suspense in this rp, and a lot of mystery behind Mikael.  From the first rp, it was clear that Mikael is a very intelligent man, and very knowledgeable, and overall very different than the rest.

However this rp at first shows a more Human Mikael! He was taken off guard by the fact that his room at BFW is very small!
“He moves toward him and stands by his side. We realize how tall Mikael is... Or how short Björn is. Mikael points around.”
Eight 69 wonderfully uses characters movements as opportunities to make a description and add details.

There is a lot of evil-ness and suspense from Mikaels actions. He says he does not want to be the best and then he laughs maniacally.
Mikael: "Jennifer... If I told you that I am five hundred & sixty-four years old. Would you believe me?" =)

"Mikael displays an evil smirk now. "

Mikael through his actions conveys that he is more dominant than others. Even when admitting that Aelyra could take him down with her judo skills.  

In the end the interviewer Jennifer leaves without saying any words, because she has none.

Eight 69 is creating a very interesting character and reading the rp is very entertaining. I enjoy the relationship between Bjorn and Mikael as well. The only criticism I have is some mistakes in the writing like grammar or ways sentences are structured. Also It is hard to imagine Mikael being 6 foot 7. However, other than that it was a great rp and that is why it is at the top of the list in my reviews this week!

So this week, I wrote about the too best rps of the week in my opinion. If ur mad, then sabes que you know im right here puto! Other than that, there were a couple people I did not talk about, I look forward to developing my own wrestler’s character and the storyline with Helm.
Helms commentary was pro, and I also look forward to more Scarlett Silver, Kyle Brennan, and Adam Wolfe as well. Ending it here, k bye thanks for reading.

Yay I got a special mention!

Good idea. I like this Without feedback you're not going to get much better! Well done to those mentioned, I hope you can take Rey's feedback and use it for the future.

Tbh I feel flattered and surprised at the same time lol. Y'know, I've already said it before english ain't my main language etc etc I learned all by myself etc etc. Now someone thinks my Rp is 2nd best compared to a roster full of talented rpers? That's awesome. Boosts my confidence. I appreciate your compliments and the critics as well, Rey. I'll try my best to decrease the number of grammar mistakes.

As for the idea as a whole, I agree with Aelyra. That feedback was well written and I love the idea. (Not saying this cos my Rp was there).

I tried to pick top quality rps and show why they were good or why i liked them! Maybe could be useful for people who want to improve by seeing how the really good ones are. It might be insulting to pick ones I didnt like and say why I didnt like them haha. But no one here is bad at rping i think, but there are very good ones that people can read to improve.

i'm not on rey's special list?

goshdarnit.

Rey wrote:

irllol

Is what I noticed! 8)

Cartwright wrote:

Rey wrote:

irllol

Is what I noticed! 8)

what a great observation!

Moved to a more relevant place in the forum.

Good work, I like the idea behind this, and well done to those mentioned - they definitely deserved it, as was reflected in their RP scores.